His parts in the American Place Theater plays were nothing game changing. But then on March eighth, the casting director at the soap opera Guiding Light set up a meeting with him because the show was casting a new contract part of a doctor, age mid to late thirties. The meeting went well.

Casting people were starting to take notice of this “new” face in town. He was now an employed, steadily working actor. His career was on roll.

Then it was back to the plays at the American Place Theater, which were excruciating to work on. Lowell was a poet, not a playwright. For two months, Tom labored, first in rehearsals, then in performance in the two awful plays. The director was miserable because nothing he did could salvage any semblance of drama from these plays. The cast members were so depressed they began bringing quarts of booze to the dressing room. It was exhausting to work on these horrible plays, and thankless, because none of the work paid off. And to add insult to injury, because this was a highly regarded artistic theater, the cast was working for peanuts. You know, because all actors are independently wealthy.

Then we got word from Tom's agent that the meeting with the casting lady at CBS had gone well enough that they wanted Tom to come in to read for the part on March 19th. They sent him a script which he decided to learn by heart instead of just reading, preferring to be in command of the material and more relaxed and spontaneous. What happens in this type of reading is the casting person reads the part of the other character. In this case, she'll be reading the part of a lady doctor who was formerly a girl friend of the divorced Doctor Justin Marler, the part that Tom was up for. For this reading, a low level producer was present to give his thumbs up or down to Tom after the reading.

After a full day in rehearsal for the infuriatingly awful play, off he goes to his Guiding Light audition. He came home feeling the audition had gone very well. But we heard nothing. This is the one job that he is being considered for that could actually change our life.

A full month of silence followed, and, when we had long since given up all hope, Guiding Light called to set up an audition to put Tom on tape on the twenty-second of April.

Somewhere along in April, I practically had a nervous breakdown, depressed and crying. Tom notes it in his diary, so it must have been pretty severe. My hindsight guess is that we were both frazzled and worn out to the max. We were beginning to feel that we were on the treadmill to nowhere. We were so close, and yet we just couldn't seem to make it happen for Tom. I think the waiting to hear on Guiding Light was more than I could stand. Then we got word from his agent that Tom would be put on tape, along with some other actors, as a final audition for the part of Justin Marler.

The scenario went like this: if he doesn't get this job, it's back to nothing, no job, no money. Yeah, right, no pressure, no worries. Just do the audition. It had probably been less nerve wracking for Tom to jump out of airplanes in the Army. At least he had a parachute.

Here is the blow by blow description of the day from Tom's diary:

"April 22 Thursday

Up at 11 am and getting myself prepared mentally and physically for the taping today. God, do I feel the pressure.

2 pm Taping for "Guiding Light" at 22 West 26th Street. Be prepared to stay till 4 pm. Taping the same scene I did at the CBS studio

Arrived at Studio at 2 pm sharp with coffee. Had to wait till 4 pm to tape.

Gene Ruppert is up for the same part. He is a Broadway musical actor, age 38, dark hair, a little heavy. The other two actors were dark, attractive in a male model sort of way.

I did the scene twice. The second time was better. The director said he liked it and the Producer came out of the booth to congratulate me and introduce me to the executive producer who was also all smiles. We chatted and laughed, and then I left and walked from 26th street to 48th Street, 22 blocks in a trance. Went up to Lloyd's, had a drink to calm down. Home, Marcy made lovely dinner.

It's been quite a day.

"By god I think I got it. So does Marcy."

Then the waiting began again. The awful part was they only called you if you got the part, so you never knew when to give up hope. In this case, we waited a full seven days before we heard Tom got it. That was one of the happiest days of our life. The salary negotiations by Lloyd, a master negotiator, were another test of our nerves. You really need an ace agent when dealing with these corporate types. They wanted all the options for no money. But Lloyd was a smooth deal maker.

Before the deal was even signed, Tom had a completely unexpected surprise for me. May first was the second anniversary of our being together. On May third, Tom wanted to take us out to dinner at a little French restaurant called Chez George on Fifty-Sixth Street, just off Sixth Avenue. I thought it was to celebrate his getting the part on the soap opera. We ate dinner, and I was happily chattering away. Tom was almost silent and seemed quite distracted. I began to worry about him, fearing something had gone wrong about the job, and he was afraid to tell me. I kept asking him, "Are you alright? Is something the matter?" He replied several times, very unconvincingly, that he was fine. He ordered a split of champagne, popped the cork, and we sipped it. Then he took my hand and with great sincerity, very earnestly and sweetly, asked me to marry him.

There was no ring, which was a strange omission considering how fastidious Tom usually was about doing things the right way. But I was so shocked, I didn’t’ notice. The only thing I remember clearly is laughing hysterically, completely out of control, till tears were running down my face. Suddenly, after all the agony we'd been through over the soap opera, he was thinking about marriage! It was all too much for me, not that I would have ever said no. I felt scared silly, but very proud and happy. I’d been suggesting marriage for at least a year, but Tom always had some excuse. Once he got the soap job, it seemed to bolster his confidence. That turned out to be part of the reason, but as I discovered later, there were other very convoluted psychological motives that prompted him to spring the question when he did. Somewhere deep in his mind alarm bells were going off. He knew he had to do this now, or he would never do it.

Tom's diary entry: "We walked to the Plaza Hotel and took an enclosed Hansom Cab pulled by a horse through the park. It was so romantic. She laughed and cried. We looked at the statue of the Husky Dog in Central Park (Balto who led sled team across the ice in Alaska to bring serum to save a town from diphtheria in 1925), and it will always be special to us. After the ride, we went to the Chateau Henry VI for drinks. I ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon. It was great."

"May 4, Tuesday

"What a night last night. A night to remember.

“I called Lloyd at three pm. The suspense was killing me. He sounded a little upset. It seems that Proctor and Gamble and the producers were willing to give all he asked for but wanted me to do five shows in a row, then have the option to cancel. Lloyd said NO WAY. I am really scared. To be so close then to lose it. I read a Travis McGee book to calm my nerves. Finally called again at 5:30. Lloyd was on the phone with them. We got it, all of it. He got me a fantastic deal. I can't believe it. I am so happy I can hardly believe all these wonderful things happening to me. Marcy marrying me, my getting the show. I am the luckiest guy in the world. Well, I've worked hard and long. We took a cab to see Lloyd, my manager. I bought him a bottle of champagne."



Yes, it was a day on which we shared our great happiness and promised to join our lives in marriage. We had many wonderful things happen for us as result of Tom getting the soap opera, including a house in the country, new friends, wonderful vacations, and memorable holidays. But it was also the start of the thirty-five-year battle for Tom’s life against a formidable secret enemy, only I didn’t know that. I thought we had the mighty Mo Mentum on our side at last. And that was another big clue I missed. Momentum never got Tom anywhere. It always left him stranded on the beach. Why?